Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a mindset where individuals set unrealistically high standards for themselves, believing that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This can lead to excessive worry, anxiety, and stress. Perfectionists tend to be overly critical of themselves and others, and often feel that they are never good enough. Overcoming perfectionism means learning to develop healthier expectations and tolerating imperfection.

Perfectionism can manifest in various areas of life, including:

• Job/Career: excessive concern about making mistakes, taking too long to complete tasks, and re-checking work
• Academic: expecting perfect grades, being afraid to make mistakes, and spending too much time on school work
• Social situations: being afraid to make mistakes in interactions with others, trying to express oneself perfectly, and spending too much time preparing for social events
• Physical appearance: being overly concerned about appearance, spending too much time getting ready, and being critical of one's body
• Cleanliness/Organization: believing that one's space needs to be perfectly clean and organized, and spending too much time cleaning and tidying. When things are out of order, anxiety may rise.
• New Tasks & Expectations: Having a fear of attempting new or difficult tasks due to concerns about not meeting overly high expectations.
• Receiving Feedback: Being resistant to, excessively defensive, or emotional when receiving constructive criticism and feedback.
• Unfamiliar Experiences: Avoiding new experiences or activities due to fear of not excelling at them, and shying away from challenges that may push you out of your comfort zone.
• Sticking to What You Know: Limiting yourself to tasks or activities where you already feel a sense of mastery or confidence.

Perfectionism can lead to the following:

• A need to seek excessive reassurance from others to validate your actions and decisions.
• Spending an inordinate amount of time on tasks, re-checking and re-doing them to ensure flawlessness.
• Fear of not meeting expectations causes you to procrastinate or drag your feet on tasks, putting them off until the last minute.
• A fear of failure or not being good enough holds you back from trying new things, causing you to stick with what you know and avoid taking risks.
• Being excessively self-critical.
• Feeling nothing is ever good enough, no matter how well you do.

Here are suggestions to address and reduce perfectionism:

• Consider writing in a journal to determine if perfectionism is an issue that arises and if so, what situations. (Write down thoughts/feelings)
• Try to build your tolerance for being “less than perfect” by sitting with the discomfort and recognizing that in most cases, nothing bad happens. (Behavioral Experiments)
• Determine if you are making unhelpful “should statements.” (Should Statements)
• Develop more realistic expectations and balanced thoughts (perfection is impossible, being “good enough” is fine, human mistakes are inevitable, and that being imperfect doesn't mean you're a failure). (Maintain realistic expectations of self and others)